★ feeling as mystified as before
Tuesday, May 24, 2011 -{'12:43 PM
alright. i've been in such a state of confusion these past few days. i wish someone would just tap me on the shoulder and tell me what i should do. i mean other than making that decision, there's really nothing else to think about. wow. i guess i should be grateful for that kind of freedom.
(i wish i was in uni of manchester)NOT PRACTICAL.
anyway thats not even a legit consideration since i got local offers. oh gosh i'm just confusing myself more. oh GOSH.
in more serious matters (HAH what could be more serious than uni admissions..) my final theory test (2nd attempt) is TOMORROW. yup. so i booked like 2 trial tests for today. i guess i should be studying for that now but i'm just procrastinating as usual... (this skill of mine is going to be the cause of death HAHAHA)
i was thinking of getting a paramore tshirt/chain. it would be so cool!! i wonder.
★ after a long time...
Monday, May 23, 2011 -{'12:18 PM
i'm in a state of panic. after so many days of waiting and killing myself over everything, the universities have made their offers. i'm grateful that all 3 of them in singapore have done so. PHEW. but now that the deadline is coming for me to decide which of the offers i will accept, I'M FREAKING OUT. smu recently made their offer. i mean everything was set and i had pretty much decided that nus fass was it but NOOOO. smu's offer has upset EVERYTHING. i went for the nus fass openhouse and was pleased with the idea of exposure modules and the various camps and the idea of being in nus. but how can i reject smu biz, the course that i've been wanting but didnt think i could get!! so i've reached a brick wall in terms of being able to decide. i'm stuck, confused and panicky. i wonder what my friends are dealing with... so i have to decide by THIS SATURDAY.
i hope i make the right choice.
★ someday i know you're coming back down
Thursday, May 5, 2011 -{'11:35 AM
okay people!! totally back and happy to be alive!! just finished the SMU interview last night... it was quite enjoyable actually. i'd glad that my group was friendly and the professors interviewing us didnt make us feel like throwing up out of nervousness. i'm just grateful that it went well...not that i would know how a good interview would feel like since this was my first interview EVER. so i finally have some closure on the whole thing. no news from NTU yet. its okay NTU, i'm here and i'll wait.
oh gosh i'm in love with a song. Come Back Down by Hollywood Undead. if you havent heard it, you havent been living. however, this isnt overshadowing my love for the script in any way. Danny, Glen and Mark, YOU PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS ROCK.(unless you stop making the awesomesauce music that you have been making, then you will stop rocking and people all over the world will mourn the inefficient use of musical genius that you guys have)
mothers' day is coming. THIS SUNDAY. you know what this means...RUSH!!! PLAN NOW PEOPLE. we don't have much time.
i hope it rains again todayyyyy....
remember people,
ITS THE SAUCE THAT COUNTS.
★ disappointment is part of life. but tt doesnt mean i like it!!!!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011 -{'11:54 AM
so i've been facing disappointment for the past 24 hours. all the 'wise' people in the world would say something like 'disappointment is part of life so suck it up and SMILE.' but NO. agreed, its part of life but i am sure as hell not going to be able to live with it!!! talk about my self esteem taking blows here...by the end of this year i'd probably be on the brink of suicide if i lived with disappointment.(i'm exaggerating here people, if you couldn't already guess) and unfortunately, there is no moving on because the disappointment is directly crippling my future. the difference between what the 'right' thing to do and what i really want to do is killing me. but there really is no competition. i will do the 'right' thing. cos its already there and its the most practical thing to do. and there's no guarantee that what i want to do will benefit me in the future. so i guess my mind is made up. yes. the conscience always wins.
universities should just personally murder all the applicants they reject cos psychologically, they're doing that already!
so in other issues, not like i should be freaking out about this now or anything but my smu interview is TODAY! in about t-8 hours 11 minutes!!! i hope this works out cos then...oh no i'll still not know what to choose. nothing i do seems to be helping my confused state of mind.
i feel like crawling into a corner and just staying there until everything is over. OH WAIT everything IS over. haha ohk, this is NOT the time for pessimism.
driving was the only thing that made today a happy day. note the PAST tense. mock driving test next lesson. the good news just keeps coming huh. note the sarcasm. to vertical parking (if vertical parking was a person) I WILL OWN YOU.
what a negative post. tsk tsk tsk. so different from the yesterday's post. how quickly moods change...
wish me luck, i'll probably need it for tonight.
but then again, on the bright side, i'm going to have a NIIIIIICEEEEE dinner tonight. and tomorrow, maybe even go out.
and then i'll go back to being paranoid about ntu sending letters by checking the mail again today...
★ so nervous so many thingsss!!!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011 -{'8:20 PM
firstly, i cannot BELIEVE that my laptop is deciding to die on me... it took me like half an hour just to turn on this stupid thing. it just keeps turning off whenever i press the power button. HOW ANNOYING. i hope i can get it fixed though...so many important things are saved...like my creations from photoshop!!! yes, they are truly important. i do not kid.
and i feel like i've failed my a levels. i couldnt have been ignored so much by so many universities. well... okay, at least there's been SOME sign of life. BUT STILL. i feel so rejected. i'm not asking for much. just a course that i want in any university. see? i'm allowing for so much flexibility its scary.
oh and the royal wedding happened. GOSH KATE COULDN'T HAVE LOOKED MORE AMAZINGANDGORGEOUS ITS WOWWORTHY. yes, my new word. wowworthy. defined as the epitomy of awesomeness. kate, you really really inspire me. i don't really know what exactly for but i dunno...the whole thing seems inspiring. okay, how awkward.
more pressing issues such as the SMU INTERVIEW OMG ITS TMR!!!! in the nighttttt!!!! and i have driving in the morning!!!! but driving today was so tiring...parallel parking is down baby... OH YEAHHHH. the (and i'm quoting my dad) 'HELLDRIVER' is ohsomuch closer to being unleashed. haha right. thats only once i manage to pass my final theory which is at the end of this month...a LONG wait. but not as long as i seem to be waiting for uni application results apparently. haha joke. JOKE. oh gosh this is pathetic. i am so nervous for tomorrow. and have you noticed how AWESOMELY WOWWORTHY the uni of manchester looks like on google maps. i mean SERIOUSLY. looks like some weird castle. howcoolisthat. if only. a girl can dream right.
and even though its been ages since THE SCRIPT CONCERT LIVE IN SINGAPORE AT FORT CANNING PARK, i'm still not over their songs and the experience of seeing it all live. its officially an addiction. they are WOWWORTHY. no, i am not going overboard with praise for the script.
before i fill this page with more nonsense, i shall get back to my life which is currently being spent learning how to be patient with life-threatening/changing choices that have yet to present themselves.
